Nothing New

        Well readers, there has been nothing new as far as my suspicions go. I have been working with one of my good friends and her 3 children (one of them is autistic). My friend is learning how to get her life to a place where she can function and she can help her children function. Now, normally I'm not one to show a mother how to raise her children, because, I am not a mother. I work with children in a school setting but that's not even on a regular basis. I have been too stressed with helping her, keeping house (barely), working 2 jobs, volunteering as church secretary, and making sure that my family is taken care of. As of now, I have a cold. I decided this past week that I needed to slow down and when I did, I got sick. I guess this is my body's way of telling me to slow down. idk. I've been burning the candle at both ends for quite a while now. I guess that the way I make myself feel better and not think about my own problems is by focusing on helping someone else. I know that God knows what it is that I'm going through. I believe that there is a reason that I haven't had children yet. There is a good reason for it and I just can't see it yet. I know that God will bless my husband and I with a child someday. For now, I'm going to focus on doing what I need to do and I will try not to run around like a headless chicken.

Lots of Love and Baby Dust,

Mrs. C.

Where we are now.

     Being still somewhat fresh to this, I haven't yet seen a gynecologist for my increasing suspicions of endometriosis. It's been two years of pain and nothing and now this last month was the straw that broke the camel's back. I want to finally find out what is wrong with me. This determination has come at a poor time though. My husband is changing jobs and with this new place, he will be on a 90 probation before we get our health insurance back. This wait is going to take a lot of patience that I am very short on at the moment. So, as the months go by, I will keep everyone updated and continue to encourage those who are going through this difficulty; whether you are new to this, like I am, or if you've been there and done that. Please, share your stories and I pray that we can gather hope and strength from each other.

Love and prayers to all,

~Mrs. C.

"So now faith, hope and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love."

   1 Corinthians 13:13 

Twitter!

Come follow us on Twitter! Living in Hope and Faith

We now have a Facebook Page!

Come join our Facebook page. Living in Hope and Faith

Anger and Confusion

     This past month was horrible for me. At the beginning of the month, I missed AF. I was skeptical about it at first. There had been times when I had thought I missed AF but it just came later than I thought it would. Then about a week  after, I started to get heartburn (which I've never had in my life). I was belching a lot and it was gross. I was nauseous to the point that I thought, "if only I could just throw up I would feel so much better." I kept getting slight cramps and so after another week I thought I might be PG. I asked one of my friends about how I was feeling and she said that I should POAS. I kept getting cramps and then about 3 weeks after missing AF, my breasts started to feel slightly painful. I was telling my hubby about what I was feeling.
     We have a dog and I am the one who normally goes out to feed him and play with him and whatnot. Well one day within the first week of missing AF, my dog sniffed me all over and started acting really weird. Come to find out later that dogs can sense when their owner is pregnant. They can tell the difference in our smells.
     Upon telling my hubby what I had experienced with the dog, he became increasingly convinced that I was PG. I was so happy at the thought that I very well could be, but a part of me was still skeptical that I was. I said that the only way that I was going to admit that I was PG was if I POAS and I wasn't going to do that until closer to my next fisit from AF.
     I had 2 POAS tests that my friend had given to me. She is already pregnant and wouldn't be using them anytime soon. So yesterday, August 30, 2014 at 9:00AM, I tested and got a BFN. I was ok because part of me knew that I was going to get a BFN. I was fine that whole day, but after my hubby left for work, that's when AF came and I lost it. I cried. I was so angry with God because I didn't understand why after 2 years of hoping and TTC, God said "no" again. I was so confused and just didn't get what God was doing. I told him that it was so hard to keep on hoping for something that might never happen and to have faith that with God, anything is possible.
     This morning, as I lay in bed with horrid cramps that caused so much pain that it was hard to move, God had woken me up with a song that I hadn't heard in many years.

"Trust, trust in the Lord. Lean not on your own understanding. In all, all of your ways, acknowledge Him. He'll make your path straight."
     I made myself get into a hot bath and looked up that song on YouTube. I believe that the reason God put that song in my head this morning was because He was telling me to not give up yet. I still have a purpose. There is still hope in Jesus and He knows all of my struggles because He has been right there beside me through all of my AF pain and the tears of each time I get a BFN. I believe that God will one day, bless us with a child. Later on during the day, I was given this idea for Living in Hope and Faith. I am excited to be able to call this blog, a ministry to all women out there TTC.

Love and prayers for you all.
~Mrs. C.